Bert Christensen's
Truth & Humour Collection

Words of Wisdom

*All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
*Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.

*By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.

*Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

*Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

*Happiness is merely the remission of pain.

*I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

*If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

*If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

*Indecision is the key to flexibility.

*Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.

*Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

*One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.

*Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.

*Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.

*Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

*The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.

*The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

*The more you run over a cat, the flatter it gets.

*There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

*There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

*Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.