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1st Prize (15 seconds of fame) Wendy, much to her horror suddenly realized where the remote  control for the television had disappeared to.....

2nd Prize(30 seconds of fame) 20th century disco man checks for a bra strap, voluptuous wanton woman checks for a fat wallet- it's the beginning of the love dance.

3rd Prize(45 seconds of fame) "Aha", Sophia said as she breathed a sigh of relief, " I was wondering where you put it."

Other Entries

Mr. Bobbit wondered about the best way to tell Wendy

Jim had searched high and low for the fire hall Dalmatian. "I am sure he will turn up eventually said Susan."

Yolanda knew that it was going to be a special night when Warren wore his "Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love" jumpsuit.

"The good news is that we are joining the UN in Rwanda."

Honey i told you already,  I do not want to overdevelop my forearms.

Firm "buttocks", love those spandex!

Oooooh! Love to love ya baby! If I only had a crotch!

Sandy regretfully asks John if has noticed that the left breast is a lot smaller than the right.

Just as Wentworth was going to make the 'moves' on Muffy,  he noticed that the picture of  her father on the dresser  looked exactly the same as his father, only her dad was wearing lingerie.

A feeling of disgust washed over Carrie as she realized that she was not a ventriloquist, and George was not her dummy.

Half lady...half bean bag, but still he loved her.

Senorita, are you hiding my buttons in your shirt?

Yes , I love him , but my father is a tailor and I just don't think he'll go for it !!

Wendy......I'm gay

Go! Vincent Van Gogh Go!

I'd love to sit on the couch and make out Jeraldine,...if I only had an ass.

Mitzy searched in vain for Buddy's butt.

Much to her parents chagrin, little Tiffany's "Mommy and Daddy" was proudly displayed on the cafeteria wall

Shelby sat with her buttocks firmly clinched hoping Maurice would understand about her problem with the winds.

Alice realized that stern words and 'the look' could never communicate her displeasure to Manuel.  This would require 'The Wedgie".

John wondered if Bertha could tell just how bad his haemorrhoids were killing him

Uh oh, that rotten egg smell is a dead give away. I can see she knows what I just did. I think I will just act like I think SHE did it and ease back down onto the couch

Oh please...the back of his pants are wet. Now what do I do????

Yes, I'm a eunuch Mary, but who are you to give me that "Oh how sickening" look? Did I make faces when I saw your HAND, your dislocated shoulder or that grotesquely thick neck of yours?????

Nothing could have been more embarrassing for Lance than to realize he had dropped his penis down Michelle's blouse.

Its not you Bernice, Its me,  I'm Gay!

This time Aunt Esmeralda really screwed things up for Darren and Samantha

A wedgie in long johns was the closest Ramon ever came to straight sex.

Bruce wondered how he was going to get out of this one!?

LUCINDA MEETS THE BALLERINA MAN

Don't worry, darling. You can take the legs out *next* Thursday

You know baby, two freaks like us could go a long way in the circus world...

We know who wears the tights in this family

Would you just look! It Is a hair damn it!

"Bertha, there is no easy way to put this, but, I think I am falling for Tony, my Riverdance instructor."

Beth wants to know where Ray's penis is. Ray leans in close and says, "It's in my belly-button babe. But don't worry I'm a grower not a shower"...

For some reason when Harry looked outside at the sheep in the pasture, it made Mary feel uneasy.

When Robbie raised up on one knee, passed gas and gave her that look, Betty knew he was getting horny

Bill knew if he could just stay relaxed and play it cook, he could convince her he had never cheated.

Even after Mary discovered he had no penis, there was "something" about his NOSE that gave her hope they could work something out.

As he got into position , his eyes glazed over and he whispered to Lulu," Come on honey, rev up that power drill one time for daddy"

Before it's time to leave the Funeral Parlour, I feel I must view the body again ALONE so you stay here ..and NO PEEKING

Pardon me miss, is this TIT, uhhh SEAT taken?

Elvis returns from the convenience store

Stop giving me a wedgee, and I'll stop pulling your hair!

Come on Betty, lick the bottom of my shoe....please?  Just a quick one, huh? Huh?

She knew by the Pastors look that he didn't appreciate  the suit she had made for him

Maybe if he'd get a toupee that matched his hair colour .. he wouldn't be so damned self conscious, she thought to herself.

How bout this one, Annie. Check it out!!! Deep knee bends without squatting.ya like that??? Ya like that???

I have to go honey. riverdance NEEDS me!

"Come on hun', we still can have fun even if the artist lost the vanishing  point in my crotch..."

Let's be ugly together! :D

It was a magic moment. Dick suddenly realized that life is full of surprises. His penis would fit perfectly in Tina's hand AND/OR in the dimple in her chin. The choice was his.

Jeane think: oh! It could be worst! Frank think: I REALLY have no other choice

Billy Bob had always wanted to be Elvis and Mary Jo could be his Priscilla

I'll touch yours if you can find mine!

"Oh please let me watch the football game"

"Honey, I don't care that your blouse looks like the wallpaper!  Who am I to judge, my jumpsuit looks like our shower curtain."

I've already had the operation, now I just need to get the implants!

"I love it when you put on your Space 1999 uniform.  Talk about giving a girl the tingles."

Yes! I am Jack Lalaine. My toupee and lack of testicles are merely side effects of the crappy steroids in the 50's. But ya gotta admit I got a pretty nice ass!

Just when they thought they were alone the bush rustles

Gal Friday with Strip'o'Gram

After taking massive amounts of LSD, Gary encountered his two sexual fantasies at once......geese and women...which will he choose first?

Man, you've got great boobs! Wanna dance?

Emma pulled the string sticking out of his back thinking it would make him talk to her. Sadly she had purchased the psychotic rapist model by mistake.

YOLI, IM NOT YOUR FATHER, IM YOUR...................MOTHER

Jim was wishing he hadn't taken that trip to Johns Hopkins.

“Less well known is Baryshnikov’s love of the mentally challenged.”

Woman steals left nut to fill out right breast.

"Swell - I've got a devil beaver eating one shoulder and a crotchless ballet dancer breaking my other one-what the hell was in that punch?"

Thrilled with all the money they'd saved with the Ronco Do-It-Yourself Plastic Surgery Kit, Roscoe and Louise decided to  splurge on some spiffy  new outfits.

Xmilpras and Blivmal slowly started to realize that the the planet Woowoo wasn't such a good idea for the holidays after all.

I am going on a long trip I may never come back