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| Results of the Fifth Caption Contest
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| Results |
| 1st Prize (15 seconds of fame) Janet Reno... The Early Years |
| 2nd Prize(30 seconds of fame) You forgot the cement shoes, you idiot. |
| 3rd Prize(45 seconds of fame) Maybe the discount spa wasn't such a good idea |
| Other Entries |
| Three Mile Island doesn't have a public beach? |
| In the days before time,
Fright-wig-breast-implantasaurus emerged from the primordial ooze |
| MISSING : Big haired Barbie doll. Last seen in fish face lake. |
| COULD BE WORSE.... COULD BE RAINING |
| Joan had her doubts that the health spa's mud soak had done any of the previous visitors any good. |
| Sure, it's dank! But it's still better than the YMCA! |
| After complete and thorough testing, Barbie decided the soup was no good at all |
| A disgusted Barbie wonders why Swamp Thing is always late when he asks her to meet him at his favorite place. |
| What really happened to your Malibu Barbie |
| TALK ABOUT THE EYES FOLLOWING ME ROUND THE ROOM!! |
| Barbie's Really Bad Hair Day |
| Swimming in New Jersey |
| Quadriplegic Barbie seeks the other half of her body |
| "Please don't hate me because I am BEAUTIFUL". |
| Hi my name is Smarby...I am just sitting here in this muddy reflective bath wondering why my shoulder is the same size as my boobs...is it really that noticeable? Or I am just a freaking paranoid bitch? hummmm??? |
| "Future Camelot: Lady of the Lake 2050" |
| Hmmm, now where did I lay my arm last night? |
| In a parallel universe: elephants have carrying cases complete with accessories while Barbies have sacred graveyards... |
| Francine was not amused as Harold hid out of site with her clothing, snickering. |
| Extremely Bad Hair Day! |
| "Where's my nipples?" |
| Harold. this oil leak is getting worse! |
| I know this exclusive spa getaway got bad reviews, but you just couldn't beat the cost. Hmmm, I think my nipples just fell off! |
| WHAT THE HELL DID HE EAT? |
| PMS is nothing to joke about |
| "I really don't think I should have taken those`shrooms before coming to the beach." |
| I'm melting! MELTING! |
| Chainsaw Barbie's chainsaw sold separately |
| 2014: His transformation complete, Michael Jackson conquers his fear of wading through the Everglades with the sort of confidence only a 97% blood-free body can provide. |
| Sex change Chaka joins the Sleestaks Underwater Cunnilingus Team |
| Silicone--the new flotation device! |
| "He better get that darn shower fixed, I am so engorged!" |
| "I wish I knew what happened to my sculpture during that flood!" |
| One night, President Bush had a happy wet dream about drilling various, uh... things in Alaska, including it's pristine landscapes. |
| There has been another oil spill... |
| Where used Barbies go to die... |
| Darcy would have been doomed if it wasn't for her pontoon-like breasts. |
| After losing the house in the divorce, Barbie's favorite game, Marco Polo, will never be the same. |
| With sunrise flickering warmly on the dim horizon, Letitia awoke with a shock from her bathing reverie, realizing she'd stayed far too long.... |
| Oh my god! Saddam killed Barbie! You Bastard! |
| What REALLY happens when you pee in a public pool. |
| Peep Show |
| What Elvira really looks like after taking off her wig and washing the makeup off in her pool of doom |
| These silicone implants have been nothing but a living
hell, now look what's happened! I go swimming and one pops a leak and kills all the little fishies and their friends too.... oh well they were getting rather annoying as well ....biting at my nipples like that...serves them right |
| Madonna finally found her ultimate state of nirvana in butcher's septic tank |
| Hell - ooooooooooooooooh, Dali ! |
| Marie Antoinette in a pickle |
| And the Hotel Night Clerk assured her the Hot Tub was clean. |
| Barbi's evil twin sister wading with a few of her friends. |
| Prehistoric Cave Woman discovered in La Brea Tar Pit Budafuco wants to date her ASAP |
| Finally, we are now able to see through the eyes of someone who is under the influence of ecstasy and heroin at the same time. |
| The Pills Have Eyes |
| Enid made a mental note never to swim in The Dead Sea again. |
| Clairol Hydrience Shade #43: Hello, Dali! |
| It was a bad night for sex, so she went swimming instead. |
| Toy Company exec admits: .....that the "Princess of Hell Barbie" was a 'poor choice' for this summer's new line of dolls. |
| Tits Ahoy! |
| "Crap" |
| Located on former wildlife protected lands, woman wades in oil company sponsored swimming hole. |
| Barbie wished she had just taken the Prozac |
| Where have all the wild horses gone? |
| Barbie is having a though time deciding what her next fun and exciting activity will be. |
| Melissa finally found a place where she would never again hear the dreaded words, "bad hair day"... |
| Hmmm, seven of nine drops some implants. |
| Dali's first nude |
| Barbie had a Serious Case of Floaters |
| This spa has gone to hell |
| Valdez, schmaldez! I'm going swimming |
| Reflections on Immortality: Everything around you dies. |
| "WELL, THAT'S THE LAST TIME KEN PLANS OUR
VACATION" THOUGHT BARBIE |
| Take me away, Calgon! |
| Fish 'n' Tits |
| New from Mattel: Post nuclear holocaust Barbie--complete with her own swimming pool! |
| BARBIE HELL UCINATION |
| Sonja just couldn't remember where she'd put her keys. |
| JANE HAD KNOWN THAT THE SEAL ON THE FREEZER DOOR HAD BEEN FAULTY FOR SOME TIME, BUT COULD NEVER REMEMBER IT BEING QUITE THIS BAD! |
| From the Cover of Vogue to Hell |
| The Swimming Hole at the Geo. W. Bush Nature Reserve |
| ~ALL BARBS GO TO HEAVEN~ coming soon to a theater near you |
| See my floaties are working! |
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