| Results |
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1st Prize (15 Seconds of Fame)
Picasso at the Beach |
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2nd Prize (30 Seconds of Fame)
Somehow Jukjuk never got along with the other
Easter Island sculptors |
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3rd Prize (45 Seconds of Fame)
Jimbo's steroid use made him an outcast at Muscle
Beach |
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Other Entries |
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"I could crush this tiny boat between my thumb and
my index finger.... Actually, I COULD crush this boat between my
thumb and my index finger!" |
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Michael Jackson once again denies rumors that he's
undergone any type of plastic surgery despite the recent photos of
the gloved one on vacation in Aruba last week. |
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No Matter where he traveled, Bob could never escape
the knowledge that he was the ugliest monolith on thr face of the
earth. |
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Shelf-Butted Desert Giant In Boots With Flipper
Waves Goodbye to the Missed Boat |
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Gulliver waves a fond farewell to his crew. |
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If I Only Had a Hand |
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Eric was so busy waving at the tiny boat he didn't
see the yellow ball coming... |
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Now then, where did I bury the rest of that dumb
bastard. |
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LeRoy finds another dudes arm in the sand. |
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Death accidently cuts off his arm at the beach. |
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Distorted Lifeguard Lends a Helping Hand |
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Excuse me, Dr. Picasso, but I have a few questions
about your generic replacement for my Viagra |
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Sorry, not you sir, I was talking about that funny
looking boat! |
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Bruno knew that too much sun would make his skin
leathery, but......................... |
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"Oh shit, not again." |
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As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy
dreams he found himself transformed in his bed--no, on a
beach--into a giant modern art sculpture! |
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Hi! My name is Derrick. I am 36 and I would
describe myself as tall, dark, handsome and an iron-man. If you're
not afraid of a challenge and are that sparkly girl with a
magnetic personality I'm looking for leave a message in the
sand.... |
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Short arm inspection... |
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The vacation from Easter Island took a lot off his
shoulders. |
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The Professor on Gilligan's Island could do pretty
much anything with a few coconuts, some more useful than others. |
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The viewers were disappointed when the "monster" in
"Lost" was finally revealed. |
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I thought getting an opposable thumb would make me
happy... |
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This year I'm going to WIN the CLAM-O-RAMA Contest! |
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Easter Islanders on vacation |
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Having been served hand and foot all of his life,
Rodney... |
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The Smith's new sculpture, worked like a charm, at
keeping their 'private' beach, REALLY PRIVATE ! |
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We don't go to war with the arms we want, we go to
war with the arms we have! |
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The foot bone's connected to the leg bone, the arm
bone's connected to the...HIP BONE?!?!? |
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A HELPING HAND |
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The Sharia Court? Over there, gentlemen. |
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polish nutcracker |
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He made do with what he had. |
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You know what they say about big hands and feet |
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All factory seconds discounted 80%. |
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Bert's Growth Spurt Medication had reacted slightly
differently to how he'd expected. |
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We Come on the Sloop John B |
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That boat cost me an arm and a leg |
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ALLERGIC TO WATER |
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A tribute to the shark survivor |
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I used to be a 6 arm sergeant! |
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Arnold spent a lot of time on muscle beach, but he
lived too close to the Venice nuclear power plant. |
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The Precursor to those "carnival claw games" |
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Poor Dali is turning in his grave |
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Three sheets to the wind. |
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I always wondered why God called me "Prototype." |
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Welcome to Spain and the 2007 orafice of the
Americas Cup! |
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You know what they say about a guy with big hands
and big feet.. |
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And when they ask I'll just say I'm an artist... |
The Colossus of Rhodes
(The Seven Wonders of the Postmodern World) |
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"I fall to pieces, each time I see you again.."
~Patsy Cline |
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It's not like I ASKED to be imagined, ASKED to be
painted. Made you look though. |
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Erectile Dysfunction. |
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Bobby Shaftoe has gone to sea. |
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Don't worry, The salt water will heal that right
up! |
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One small step for man...er uh...that's one small
step in the sand...uh well large step...well durn I just stuck my
big foot in it. |
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I'm a little mixed up at the moment ... also trying
to find a good lawyer. |
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Eric needed a walk along the beach after his trip
to the petting zoo... |
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Louis Armstrong GONE FISHING. His arm is literally
strong. |
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After seeing the reactions of the other
beach-goers, Milton felt less enthusiastic about do-it-yourself
cosmetic surgery. |
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Sometimes it just doesn't pay to hunt whales. |
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They later regretted inviting Tangram Man into the
league of X-men. |
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Shaq finally had enough of missing his free throws
and decided him and his worthless shooting arm needed a vacation
on the sandy shores of Miami beach. |
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Finding it diffiicult to fit in Ian often dreamt of
other lands across the ocean |
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Those pesky boats! I always end up cleaning up
after them. Luckily my arm is conveniantely shaped like a broom! |
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Though Alan was romantically handsome, wealthy,
witty, and a candidate for the Nobel Prize, women ran screaming
from his lonely, outstretched arms whenever he took off his shoes
and suggested a quiet walk upon the beach. |
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...but above all else, Eddie loved to dance the
Nutcracker's little known (and widely under appreciated) role of
the severely bent hubcap as he frolicked rakishly about the beach. |
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Why I failed anatomy class.... |
Reach out and touch, Somebody's hand, Make this
world a better place, If you can....
Take a little time out of your busy day, To give encouragement, To
someone who's lost the way |
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Finally a boat after Earl has been stranded for
years... |
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Everyone talks about that "big hands, big feet
thing" .... where could he possibly be hidin' it? |
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I'll just reach out and grab you |
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Now, put a full glass of water next to it and watch
the hand bob. |
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Ahab always wondered where he came from but when he
found out he was a wrong order from the shipyard, he took to
beachcombing to resolve these personal issues. |
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With his new beachcombers elbow and an anvil ankle,
Ned just knew he would be a hit at the next beach blanket bimbo
party. |
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The Sculptor passed "Grey" but flunked "Anatomy". |
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It takes 2 hands to handle a whopper |
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That's my plastic surgeon on the boat over there; I
could give you his number. |
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Does anyone have any ice? |
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One hand giveth talent and a much, much bigger one
taketh it away. |
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I'd give an Arm & a Leg to sail away from here... |
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ok now all I have to do is find the other arm and
I'm set. |
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I told you the boat's not big enough! we're leaving |
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His friends invited him to the beach but he sunk
the boat |
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Let Me Give You A Hand |
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This is the craziest back scratcher ever!
Batteries not included. |
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Gulliver's great, great grandson wondered why the
Lilliputians didn't like him. |
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Canada's free health care has its drawback: The
infamous Prostate Exam device |
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Ahoy there! Can I give you a hand? |
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Even though he waved profusely, the island creature
could not convince the passengers in the sailboat to come ashore. |
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Iran leaves a giant peace offering on the shores of
Israel. |
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The Missing Link Between the Post-Impressionist
Period and the Surrealist Period: "Piece of Turd on the Beach at
Asnieres" |
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Little Pablo stayed out in the blazing sun a bit
too long while making his first sand castle. |
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Let's give em a big hand! Maybe some big shoes
too.... |
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Whew! Now what did I do with that other arm? |
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The Elephant Man's younger brother; Rhinoceros Man |
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The Special Olympics Beach Volleyball committee
debates whether prosthesis should be allowed on the court |
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"NEA Gullibility Test #5" |
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Columbus stayed at sea for three weeks deciding
whether he would land to discover the New World. This thing was
waaaay too freaky. |
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Previous Contests and their Winners |
