| Results |
| 1st
Prize (15 seconds of fame) And I thought
MY family was dysfunctional! |
| 2nd
Prize(30 seconds of fame) So, You're
probably all wondering why I've asked you here this evening.. |
| 3rd
Prize(45 seconds of fame) Dick and Jane
had always suspected they were adopted! |
|
OtherEntries |
| "As you can see, children, the game of farbles is simply won when the dog is killed. Although Tinkerbell's hotdoggin-touchdown dance would never be in good taste on the planet
Cymbidia." |
| When does distracting the opponent in a game of marbles go too far? |
| That's BULL! |
| The children felt faint when they learned the truth from the Tissue God and Cardinal Bull; all the lost marbles are here. If only father would come back they thought. |
| It was obvious to the Bull King that the spell he had cast on his children was not working. They would be forever doomed to be normal. |
| "Hansel and Gretal suddenly realize they took a wrong
turn and ended up in someone else's fairy tale!" |
| Bud and Kathy were at last told the truth about why they were different. |
| " Look Hansel, you've been playing this blasphemous bubble game long enough. Now grab the Bull by the horns, I'll expose the Veiled Conspiracy and we'll high tail it out of this diabolical den of iniquity. Don't forget the bread crumbs." |
Hansel: "Gretel, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."
Gretel: "You're right. Must be Texas." |
| "Wouldn't you rather have a Buick?" (than a Taurus) |
| Food influences your dreams. This is why children shouldn't eat chocolate before going to sleep. |
| The Lettuce King, the Bull and the Marbles - An Aesop's Fable that got nothing but rejection slips. |
| The Old
Yak said to the unsuspecting children, "So happy you could join me
for lunch today," as the giant Kleenex Tissue played with the
nearly symmetrical glistening balls of snot on the hastily dressed
red clothed dining table. |
| Jim
Dandy to the Rescue |
| I can
see the mad cow, but which of the others is the disease? |
| Sadly
enough, Lettuce head could not determine the future of the Goth
twins and Mammal boy, but Dancing peacock head already knew where
she stood in life. |
| Timothy
Leary is not dead. |
|
"Adventures in babysitting: It's all fun and games until someone
loses their
mind" |
|
Representatives of the several different planetary systems are
meeting in the Chamber of Shadows as we speak, to divide up our
galaxy among themselves. |
| Dick
and Jane had always suspected they were adopted! |
| " I
think I've found Crowley's Offspring" |
|
Although they had always accepted their parents' values, Jenna and
Barbara could no longer believe that embryo stem cell research was
unethical |
| Death
of the Fido Family-The truth behind what happened when the Lord of
the Rings ceremony fairy handed Mister Oxo the Crystal Ball. |
| I hear
the crabcakes are devine |
| What
broken thermometer residue does to the creatures that live in your
carpet. |
| So,
You're probably all wondering why I've asked you here this
evening... |
| The
later days of Pee Wee's Playhouse |
"It's
OK, children, you know what your father's like before he's had his
morning coffee..." |
| And so
the children learned...never practice napkin folding under a full
moon. |
Young
George & Jeb Bush are initiated into the coven of The Universal
Masters of the Dark World.(Otherwise known as neoconservatives). |
| "Dang!
I told you that match book was going to slip out from under the
table leg!" |
An
allegorical illustration representative of George Bush's first
(and
hopefully only) administration. |
| Sam and
Frodo were sure that this wasn't the way to Mordor. It was Bull!
|
| Puff
Puff, Give |
|
Unemployed Now That PCP Usage Is Down |
| Waiting
For Father TO Get Home From Work |
| The
Twins Didn't Mention It But Doubted The Effectiveness Of A Bull
Psychic, Even In A Red Dress. |
| "Damn!"
Thought The Flower, "Once again I'm The Token Flower.... |
|
"Careful!" screamed flowerman, "Do you think crystal balls grow on
trees!" |
| Fido
and Figi Had Finished Making Love But Fido Still Couldn't Get The
Image Of His Ballerina Lover Out Of His Mind. |
| "Oh
sure, thought the twins, the bull gets the chair again...what are
we...chopped liver?" |
| "Bullman
Always Cheats With Those Bigger Marbles," thought the smaller twin
after the table was cleared in the Tenth Annual Intergalactic
Marble Championship |
| “John
just remembered, he had forgotten to feed the dog that morning.” |
| Who's
turn is by the frog medium, the children's or the bull's? |
| Seeing
what happened to the witch, Roger planned on disguising himself as
a seer to trick Hansel and Gretel |
| The
children thought the Tissue Fairy was kidding when he said he had
big balls. Now they sought the counsel of the bullman to reattach
them after a sneezing accident went hideously awry. |
| "CHECK
MATE" |
| Minos,
judge of the underworld |
|
“Darn!!”. Hansel & Gretel get it wrong again.. |
| I like
to pretend I'm Salvador Dali while I finger-paint. |
| The dog
is wondering how he got adopted by such a weird looking family. |
| The
kids are welcomed to the dinner table after they smoked too much
weed. |
| A hush
falls over the crowd as the veg draws back and shoots, trying to
win the coveted crystal peary. |
| The
final Democatic candidate debate, Jan. 2004. |
| You
cats and that dog be goooood boy and girls. |
| Timothy
Leary is not dead. |
| Waiting
for Michael's return at the Neverland Ranch |
| Flower
children meet Krishna Bull |
| ‘I
really must get that table leg fixed…’ |
| "The
Jellyfish now realizes fortune-telling was the wrong career
path..." |
| It's ok
kids. The dog had the giant mosquito cornered and mom has her
protective gear on and will now go squash it. Nothing to worry
about |
|
Hieronymus Bosch confronts jellyfish icon and red bull |
| And
that was the last time Winona Ryder ever accepted a script from H.
P. Lovecraft. |
| After a
worrisome year, George bush and his family spent a wonderful
weekend in their home town of hell. |
|
Strangely enough, Jesus looked nothing like the paintings. |
| "...and
then I woke up." |
| Meow
Meow, Glass ball shows, Meow Meow, the end of earth and my home
Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. |
| "Red
Bull energy drink announces significant budget cuts to their
advertising department" |
|
"Absolutely no children admitted without shoes-- or guardians!"
"The high priestess of "Fish stick" will escort you out, and
that's no bull!" |
| It was
a gothic tale of cloning gone wrong…. |
| Ok,
kids, here comes Aunt Florence. Now behave yourselves. No
giggling, no staring, and for god's sake don't mention her hair.
We don't want her to feel like she doesn't fit in. |
| "Please
don't hurt us, mister. We promise never again to eat at
McDonalds." |
| I'll
bet 2 clearies, 20 quatloos and these 2 humans for that big aggie. |
| And I
thought MY family was dysfunctional! |
| You
might be a redneck if your dad's an animal, your mom has to wear a
white garbage bag over her head, your dancing sister is ADHD, and
your twin is your aunt. |
| When
Marty the bull realized he needed to lay off the acid. |
| Marbles
are one of the few pastimes on the tiny Island of Tristan da Cunha |
| Tiny
Bubbles............................... |
| “I took
too much man… too much” |
Ebola,
Dengue, and Strep are among the dignitaries attending the recent
virus summit. |
| If H.P
Lovecraft produced "Extreme Makeover"............. |
| and his
mom said, "..you're the one who watches all that Sci-Fi". |
| No
matter how many times the Ibex told them not to play Bocce in the
house they just didn't get it. |
| A Dali
wet dream. |
THERE ONCE WAS A QUEEN FROG....
WHO SHOT BUBBLES AT THE BUTT OF A DOG....
THE BULL DROPPED A LOG
THE CHILDREN SUCKED SMOG
AND THE PERVERT ON THE WALL DRANK TOO MUCH NOG.
(ta-da) |
| Satan
didn't know why, but somehow the appearance of identical twin
girls always really creeped him out |
"Sister
Bertrille on the Food Channel"
(who needs Reality TV?) |
| "Bad
Acid at Woodstock" |
| Hansel
and Gretel defiantly stumbled onto the wrong house this time! |
| I have
a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. |
| DINNER
AT THE NEVERLAND RANCH.. |
| ..this
is more proof that they switched babies on us at the hospital |
The
fairy danced from light into darkness, not knowing that she was
entering the realm of "eyes wide shut..." |
| "Nancy
Reagan consults Oracles and other advisors" |
| Even
though Brandon slavishly tried to copy his art professor's style,
he was blown away by the awesome quality of the painting he did
for Monday's class after the Alpha |
| Pi rave
on Sunday night. Awesome! |
| Who
farted? |
| The
twins later agreed: It was fun at Goldman Sachs, but they learned
nothing of retirement planning. |
| Your
mother and I would be very pleased if you'd stop that habit of
yours to go and visit the neighbors barefooted to complain about
your parents |
| "The
children agreed that Narnia was getting far too weird, and burned
the wardrobe the next day." |
| Seven
characters in search of a better painting. |
"Did
you just say baby lettuce leaf salad and then go and pull some off
your head?
NO. No, really. I couldn't. You are too kind.
NO, I CERTAINLY DO NOT WANT YOU TO PUT YOUR SECRET HOMEMADE
DRESSING ON IT. Thanks, anyway." |
| You
sunk my battle ship |
| 'Timmy
and Lisa loved to play marbles with their friends from the
bhagavad gita' |
| Just
Say No, to Surrealism" |
| Greg
hated having to seat at the kids table at Thanksgiving |
| The
real reason Jack and Kelly Osbourne BOTH entered rehab .... |
| "This
certainly wasn't like Uncle Albert's dairy farm." |
| |
